Occupy Your Time

Commitment keeps coming up right now. It's in the energy all around us.
Do you feel it?

Commitment. And distractions.

Distractions from our commitments.

When it gets right down to it, we choose both.
Either consciously or inadvertently.

And distractions can be disguised as commitments,
if our tricky minds get enough of a chance to convince us just how we ought to occupy our time.

Our egos are soooo good at what they do
that sometimes, in my experience,
they even trick us into thinking our commitments are the distractions...

Do you know why? (I know you know)
Yep. Same ol' story - you've heard it.

But if you're like me, you need to keep hearing it.
Because our egos fear change, discomfort and anything a little out of control
or in the realm of the unknown.
(in other words - just about everything that really gets you anywhere or makes up what it means to be Alive. I guess our egos are a little slow on the evolution wheel)

But here's the thing - our Time is the only thing we really have to call our own.
How we 'spend' it, exchange it, 'waste' it, offer it up.
Who we share it with, what takes it,
and how much of it we give to any one focus of our attention and energy.

And we just don't know how much of it we have,
here in this miraculous sensational human form
that has so much joy and mystery to show us -
if we would just hand over the reigns
and let the divine lead our inner starchild into the dance of experience and chance,
where our spirit belongs,
so we can spend our time doing our vital, true work.

This is what I've been thinking about over the last few busy weeks. A lot.

For me, it's time to get clear. For real. No more messing around here and dilly-dallying there.
No more falling, over and over, for the easy, charming pick-up line of my patterns of distraction.
No more rational, practical, logical excuses to get me out this time...
because in the end, it doesn't work.

It's like fast food. You feel "full", but not nourished.
And in the end, you're still aching with hunger - but now you just feel all icky inside, too.

This is where I'm at - wading in these ponderings.

I *know* what nourishes my soul
       [art, healing, prayer, teaching/learning/leading/visioning, women-connecting, nature, living Mystery]
I *know* what I need to be doing with my precious Time [ditto]
I *know* where my heartstrings are pulled [ditto]

Even though I have no idea how the bricks will be laid,
I *know* that this is the way in which I will realize my highest good and greatest impact for others.

So why all the distractions for like my whole life thus far...?
     [i really could fret over this one. oh yeah. that = distraction]
I don't know. Doesn't matter.
It's all given me ingredients for the stew that will be richer because of it.
But now, it's time to chop, measure, simmer and let the flavors marry
before mealtime slips into tomorrow with nothing but a dark, hungry bellysoul.

You see, your true work is a commitment you've already made...
to Source, god/dess, self, universe, [insert your label here, loves, it's all the same.]
You're either keeping it or you're breaking it.
It's there, made before Time, perhaps, who knows?
But made and sealed - made of the very same stuff that makes you You.

Maybe you feel like you don't know what it is... [but you do].
It doesn't matter - it knows you, whispering messages through your body to "Wake Up"
It's in your very cells, this wisdom.

It's in mine, too.
Always has been
    - I just wasn't listening because obvious crazy, wacky, unconventional risks [chances]
          seemed like such a threatening thing. [yes indeed, threatening to my comfort]

But I've realized it isn't about making a commitment,
as much as it is about choosing the one that already IS,
that allows me to fully occupy
this timebound flesh and timeless spirit in this mysterious, beautiful blink of my life as [hali].

I can do this
by choosing to squeeze, taste and ponder,
and share as much of these swelling passionate juices of my creative impulses as possible....

I can do this
by listening to the cravings of my bellysoul
and pulling back the curtain on my own staged distractions.

I do this [as can you]
by choosing how to occupy my time.