Painting BIG & Fearless, Working at Play

So I have to admit I have some serious "fear gremlins" that visited for this simple beginning practice. Seriously. Already. And it is over something that touches me sooo deeply, and is a big part of the change i'm trying to manifest, a part of me i'm trying to re-find. It's this: Somewhere along the line, I forgot how to play. To just let loose and let go and let that energy carry me, fill me, inspire me with spontaneous joy. Odd. And sad.
I've gotten a little serious in life – and I have to say, I don't wear it well at all because it's just not who I am at my core. But, right now, I have to really work at play! ;-) and part of it has to do with growing up fast as a kid, I think, but whatever, i'm here now with the me that is... so to start, for today, and for now on, i'm all about letting that little child out into the light again, and then let her lead the way... in so many ways she seems wiser and closer to the deepest me there is then this adult-mind ever will be. so remembering how to be like a five year old in approach is scary, hard, and absolutely liberating. Moments of letting go, no thinking (YAY!), and color color color! Woohoo!
 It was a struggle getting started and relaxed with the first one (above), but by the end, i felt good - and that's how i knew it was done.  The second one (right) started out from a calmer place and then became more energetically fun.
 Interestingly, though these exercises are not about the product at all, in looking at them now, I like the first one best - the one that was more difficult for me, more challenging. It has a depth to all the layers... it feels honest, somehow.
So, anyway, I think I actually played a little in the moments inbetween during these – gremlin on one shoulder, happy little 5 year old me on the other. Loving them both in the end.
[this practice was from Dirty Footprints Studio's online workshop BIG]