it's not always about sadness.
Or even the beauty of it all. Or the overwhelm. Or disappointment. Or fear. Or exhaustion...
just about the cry itself. The release. Of all of those, and none of those.
Of the tension that can accumulate like muck and go unnoticed until the Cry just sneaks up,
seemingly out of nowhere, and taps you on the shoulder.
And when it first comes, it's easy to think “oh no, not now, why?, don't cry...”
but then, if you just let go... and surrender to the sob and the tears that want to rain from deep inside,
you find that every cell in your body starts to feel the sweet release, starts to feel better –
like you might after a good long, much-needed sleep or a cleansing liquid fast to ease the work of digestion, or like the quiet of a starry night after a noisy, stimulating day.
And if you're like me,
your knee-jerk reaction might be to over-analyze the Why behind the cry... and as your mind goes there, the tension holds on, and you are bound to the pain of resistance,
the release ceases and things feel urgent and just wrong...
it's ok, though.
Just *breathe* as you acknowledge this and then tell yourself,
“just let it come and see what happens. you're gonna be ok.”
And when you can tell yourself to let go of the Why as you let go of the Cry,
it all starts to feel better inside.
(That need for the Why is really just a little imp voice in us all that either wants control
or is pissed she doesn't seem to have it and that things aren't how we want them.)
And then, like magic, as if your body knew better than you (as it so often does)
you can carry on, a little clearer-headed and less tense about the details of life and the pile of to-dos,
a little more peaceful inside. It's our natural release.
So, it's good to remember –
to let yourself believe and know and feel –
that it doesn't have to be some major event if your eyes, emotions...
do a little leaking from time to time.
It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Or your life.
It might not even mean that you're unhappy or depressed or that things have to change or whatever other labels and explanations we try to place and cling to to appease our ego-imp's need for “why” in a world that isn't very allowing of emotional displays.
It's just a build-up of pressure inside your being.
And sometimes you, and I, just need to let the emotions flow forth like the river they are
so that they don't sit stagnant and swampy and become murky, holding us down.
Sometimes it truly is just about Allowing the Cry to be.