To say I'm a bit of an introvert is an understatement. It's not that I don' t like being with people - in fact, I love it. I'm just not the social butterfly type. I much prefer small groups and one-on-one interactions.
I'm also not very good at small talk. In fact, I'll take quiet, curious observation of the crowd over idle chit chat any day.
Now, start telling me about your passions and the guts of your experience and what makes you come alive, and I'm in! In fact, I might even have more to say than you'd ever guess just by looking at me sitting in the corner with my sketchbook or camera, tapping my foot to the music.
It's taken me a long time to come to love and understand this social introvert part of myself. I used to try hard to 'fit in', to be comfortable where I just wasn't, and quite frankly, it did nothing but exhaust me... because I wasn't loving my own nature.
Now, I just don't try so hard. I must have made a very wise silent commitment to myself along the way. How I am is just fine - I enjoy this experience of me, even with my social quarks. Even when that means I skip out on the party and stay home to read or paint... or when I go to the party, but allow myself to be the quiet one if that is just my true response. Sure, there's a lot we can talk about to fill the space, but I love how much there is to just see and feel in this world, too.
Last week, we were headed to a party where Steve was playing some music. I had never met anyone going to the party before, but it was a beautiful day and it felt good to get out. So, I decided to take a look at Cathy Bluteau's "Doodling Our Way" class in 21 Secrets before we went. And just as I had hoped, it gave me some ideas to prep a page in the journal I carry everywhere.
I'm so glad I did. Once the music at the party started, and people were busy warming up into their party rhythm, I was able to grab a cozy chair in the sunshine and doodle away while I listened & loved the world around me in my own way.
I came away from the party feeling the overflowing energy of having nurtured my truth and creativity. And that is the rhythm that fills me up.