Expressive Painting with a fallen tree (art video)

One thing I notice in my process is that when it feels awkward to just let go and be expressively free with my mark-making and painting, it is usually because I'm still expecting something specific to come from the practice somehow. 

Sometimes that's a feeling, sometimes it's about the 'art.' I'm clinging to expectations (often without even realizing it), rather than just releasing myself to the rhythm of the practice and process and Presence.

I was reminded of that with the expressive painting session in the video above. 

Because the authenticity of the moment to drag that in-process painting out of the studio and into the backyard debris snuck up on me. 

I didn't have time to question or alter my instinct and intuition into a 'better' idea somehow that would make my time more 'useful' or ‘well spent.’

The nudge to Just Paint, as-is raw-and-true, rose up from feelings of grief and upheaval around my home. My personal experience was compounded grief from many parts of life these days, and I'm still processing that, if I'm honest. But painting helped so so much that day.

The internal prompt to take creative action was quiet, gentle and small - that voice within. It wasn't to do anything awesomely original... just to "paint outside with her today while she's still standing."

I could've ignored the nudge, but I know well by now that all the other parts of my day will just feel better if I stop and do the creative thing for just a little bit.

AND I knew it was a legit nudge - one that could shift things somehow - because it also asked a risk of me in my process, a letting go, a surrender to expression that came from what was happening within and around me, in spite of what I might have preferred or pictured for our home or my painting practice that day. 

For instance, I wasn't planning to paint right over what I started on the canvas I was already working on.

Now, if I’m honest, there was not much life for me in that in-process painting as it was, but I could have given in to the tendency to Work-Really-Hard-to-Make-it-Look-Good-anyway... and loathed most of the process. 

But it just doesn't always have to be so hard. 

Sometimes we DO need to see something through, that’s true... but it’salso just as true that often we really just need to let it shift, go, grow or change as it will in the tides of multitudes. Even if we love(d) it.

We can trust where our creative energy truly is and isn't. Regardless of how things might look. There is a wisdom in that.

We can recognize when something we're creating has a life of its own, an intention or purpose we did not set... and that maybe, even though we aren't in full control of that, or our feelings, or the stuff of life that seems to 'get in the way' of our creative practice or intentions, maybe there's still something beautiful happening, something to feed our creative soul and practice if we just relinquish the need for it to go how we think it's supposed to, and say "yes" to creating with how it IS going - one risk, one nudge at a time.

Whether that means to stay-with and see something through, let it go and start anew, or a little of both: stay with AND hold space for the letting-go that is leading to a transformation we can't quite see yet.

It is so easy to over-think how to go about an intuitive or "expressive" creative practice... but it's all about allowing ourselves and our marks to be whole and free to feel. Even as that changes. Even as we change.

So FEEL, my friends ... and set those marks and movements free to take up space in whatever wild or awkward ways your wise, quiet voice within nudges you to try. 

It truly is healing and relieving to let your creative practice be just that, at least sometimes. And, if you're like me, you might just find it deeply energizing, too. 💚

The video was made impromptu that day, with just my phone... it is raw+true like that. 

I share a short musing toward the end, as well, plus a few more pics.

Thanks for witnessing - and keep creating true to you.