She's intense, don't ya think?
(If you know me and how I approach my creative practice, you know I'm smiling as I say that)
This response painting to the Aries Art Practice Moon Magic Invitation, ended up being one of those pieces I had to work on, mark by mark, over a period of time, this past month.
There was a lot of staring at her... and then short periods of fierce and colorful mark-making.
It actually began as an astrological mandala I was scribbling out, as I reflected on the energy of Mars (which 'rules' Aries) - and then she emerged, in all her warrior-esque, stare-down glory.
The paper crimped and crumpled under my wet brush, tea got splattered on her, the layers never asked for perfection or stillness when we were engaged. And she held her ground.
A couple of times I thought it was a fling, a one-time rendezvous, but...
I kept coming back to her.
And she kept changing, again and again, while always remaining wholly herself - and never giving up her space and presence... and that stare.
Even as the world around her got a bit chaotic and boundless.
She gets shit done. She protects when necessary. She will not settle for less than what she knows to be true to her soul.
I thought she was asking me to soften parts of the painting at times, to create an environment around her that felt more calming, with a little more 'room to breathe'... but that wasn't the true exchange that was happening.
Those were my ideas - the ones I came with - not hers.
So what could I do but keep being curious and present as I found my movements infused with focus (but not thought) and action (but not control).
She is obviously not one to tone down her creative energy for anyone else.
She wanted to be seen in all her colors and layers - and if I was going to interact with her, denying this was not an option.
I agreed to the wisdom in that.
I agreed to claim a little more unapologetic I AM after having met her as well.
And, between you and me...
it's like something came alive in me this past month.
Like a piece of my soul's mission, falling into place.
Something new... old... remembered... envisioned....
I can't quite put my finger on it to describe it, or where it is leading - just like I can't quite peg this strong medicine spirit who showed up in the paint.
But I can sense it.
And it feels damn good.