you can begin again... and again... and again...
Some times we wait to begin until we have a plan, a reason, a focus, enough rest (money, time), a mission, validation from others, a synchronous series of 'magical' moments that must be signaling 'yes, this way is meant to be.'
Maybe it's just me... but as much as I love seeing the magic and miracle in life's messages, it sure seems like all of that can add up to a lot of waiting, procrastinating, disappointment, stalling, fussy busy work, mental monkey antics, and maybe a bit of bypassing what it takes to just... begin. To step through. To get things moving along already, come what may. To give form to the vision, one step at a time.
I think sometimes what so many long for in this culture is a notion that is fundamentally missing from integral stages of our life and decisions... an INITIATION. A moment in time that signals a chapter has ended, and indeed the next one is beginning. That you are loved, you are ready, you will be OK in all the uncertainty of taking new risks. What has passed is honored. What is to come is unknown and waiting, what you have been made for, and both more and less than what you dare to imagine... and what a gift to be part of this mystery. To get to breathe, and move, and love, and... begin things.
A couple weeks ago we had the great solar eclipse here in the states. Totality was just an hour from our house here in Asheville. There was so much talk of what an energetic moment in time it represents... a portal to what is to come, a great shifting of consciousness, the exposure and falling away of what no longer works and what is waiting to take its place in our creative efforts. All true and fun and inspiring and maybe hopeful in our crazy world right now. Sure. Let's embrace stepping into the gateways that open for us, into a living process of letting go and allying with what is changing.
And... these moments are subtler than we'd sometimes like or expect them to be, don't you think? An amazing solar eclipse for some, a pretty ordinary day for others. A time full of felt chaos and potential, tenderness and power... order becoming disorder in the dynamic process of transformation. So huge and great, and so small as well.Some of us notice, others don't. The world keeps spinning and transforming regardless.
And every day, there is still... chop the wood, carry the water... pay the bills, take the kids to school, pray for good news from the doctor, go to work, get the car fixed, and try our best to savor the little shared moments of true connection and love.
Because really, we don't know when the big changes and events will be so big in our path that life will never be the same again. Ask anyone on the ground in Houston this week.
It can be so easy to put off beginning. The conscious steps that move us into our next chapters, however subtle or extreme it may be over time. It takes the time it takes for us to get there, to the place of defined action, I suppose. And it can be good to be gentle about it.
It's also good to notice if the delay is unnecessary. Or more about fear. Or attachment. Or a sense of hopelessness because somewhere along the way we thought something else was the last time we would have to do the hard, blessed work of beginning again.
What I love to remember in my bones, when I finally remember that there's nothing to wait for, no reason to delay... to just begin... is that there is liberation, re-vitalization and glorious curiosity in the choice, the act, the effort of surrendering to the process and stretching the tired, resistant muscles of self into the act of beginning again.
Maybe you're facing the blank page. The move. The blog. The dream. The integration of all parts, dark and light, into your unique wholeness.
So if you're like me, and you sometimes need to hear it... you don't need to wait for the sun and moon to line up, or the heavens to part.
Just find your next right step. The do-able action. And begin.
And if you stall or forget or get distracted or discouraged, or can't do what you thought you could do, or have to course correct, and that little self starts to creep in with all kinds of doubts and conditions, just be gentle about it all and take a deep breath. Ground in your real-time life, with the people and animals and nature you can reach out and touch for a moment.
And then begin again.
This musing is brought to you by my desire to kick-start a fresh relationship with my musings here at the blog, and maybe connect more with you - my readers and subscribers in the process.
With the eclipse and the past few weeks, I spent some time off social media, reflecting on where I'm at and where my energy feels focused, not leaked - and I knew September and October would be my time to explore blogging again for a spell, and share some of the many, many things that have been on my mind and in my processes over the past year or so. Like this astrology kick that has taken over much of my work and offerings - and how it correlates and can inspire and inform our creative practice!
I was starting to come up with excuses why I didn't need to bother blogging, though... and then I saw Effy Wild is having a blog along for September. Some of her words today were just what I needed to remember about the ol' blogging process. So, I'm not sure if I'll stick with it each day, but I'm going to give it a Go.
Sometimes we just need an anchor of accountability to give a fresh start some roots. If interested, you can read about Effy's blog along here.
Or you can use this post as a nudge to start your own daily musing or blog practice.